Day 3

I'm feeling pretty amazing right now. Got up early, showered, took a hyperventilation test that made me dizzy and made my legs shake. Then my nurse came in and asked me if I wanted to sit in the chair in my room instead of sitting in my bed. I was like fuck yeah. So i've been sitting in this chair feeling pretty fucken good. Sounds good, right? Wrong…I'm supposed to be having seizures right now. On the bright side, I like that I can take a shower every day. Originally they told me that I'd only be able to shower every other day. I can't wash my hair though, but at least i get to shower. That's good enough for me.

4 hours later:

Kinda ready to go home dude.

The doctors and nurses keep telling me different shit. One doctor tells me not to clench my jaws. Another tells me to go ahead because it's involuntary and they need to see what my seizures look like physically instead of whats on the screen. Hmm.

I feel like some of my doctors are upset with me. The doctor told me that the faster I have seizures, the faster they can come to a conclusion, the faster I can go home. That kinda made me feel like shit…like not having the seizures is all my fault, like i'm stopping them from happening…as if I have some sort of control of that kinda shit :(. I asked him about the auras I had last night. He told me that theres no way to tell what happened because the brain is so complex and the auras may have come from from the depths of my brain. What the hell???

I wish things were like Grey's anatomy. They have the diagnosis in 20 minutes and 40 minutes later shit's cured and everybody is happy. Then somebody has romantic sex, and cool music plays in the background. Stupid Grey's.

I overhead a doctor telling a patient the EXACT same thing that the doctors have been telling me: "you can die crossing the street, you could die in a plane crash. Blah blah blah there's no way to tell if you're going to die during the surgery, but it's a risk..the same risk you take when you cross the street blah blah blah" Ugh.

Cindy came by and brought me lots of goodies. I got some good Filipino treats and a freaking awesome burger. I had forgotten what "real" food tastes like. Hospital food is a muthafucka. I was sad to see her go. We laughed our asses off at nothing. I love that nobody gets our jokes. It's a Cindy/Rosario thing. My Louie stopped by right after and brought me some cupcakes!! Woohoo. They were delicious. Dots cupcakes RULE! My sister, Lorena stopped by about 30 minutes later. I love my sister and I realize that I don't always appreciate everything she does for me. :( Towards the end of the night my sister Rachel, showed up with Luis. Visitors make everything so much better. It's nice to have somebody distract you from the boredom, and the situation that's going on.