Day 2

Day2. Slept surprisingly well last night. IV's were such a bitch to me. Usually IVs are not a bother but this time they put the iv's in my hand. Again, this usually isn't a problem but since I'm typing and playing on my computer they dig into my hand. OUCH.

I am feeling the LOVE from all my friends and family. It's pretty freaking awesome that so many people care. I'm very thankful for the prayers and well wishes from everybody. Luis is going to stop by tomorrow (love you Louie). I feel so special that he's trekking all the way over here just to see me. I have awesome friends and an amazing family. Love you guys!

I'm supposed to have a PET scan today...waiting for my nurse to come by and take me to do that. It's 7:30 am right now...i should page her so that I can brush my teeth, take a shower and put some clothes on. Woo!

K that didn't work out. My male nurse, Julio, came in. He's very nice...but he's a male and I'm uncomfortable changing and doing all that stuff with him around. I wanted to put on some clothes, but he told me to wait until after the PET scan, to shower, change my clothes, etc. Okay let's get this show on the road....PET scan the shit out of my brain, so that I can shit, shower and shave already. I'm f'n hungry but I can't eat or drink water before the PET scan.

Just had the PET scan. I straight out got injected with Radioactive sugar water aka Radioactive tracer!! The radioactive sugar water (totally not the right term) is used because the brain cells use glucose as their fuel. With the PET scan the doctors can get a better view and are better able to identify wtf is wrong with my brain.The procedure wasn't hard, but it kinda was. After I got injected with the solution, the technicians had to study my brain waves for 30 minutes. I sat in a room and couldn't really move and I didn't have anything to do, so I stared at the wall the entire time. The second part of the procedure lasted 30 minutes too and it was TORTURE. I sat in the same chair but this time the chair was reclined, they turned off the lights, the room temperature was awesome, and I had to close my eyes …..but i wasn't allowed to sleep!!!! OMG wtf…it was so hard. It was nearly impossible to stay awake for 30 minutes in such a peaceful environment. Seriously it felt like torture. After that, we started the 3rd and final part of the procedure. This was the easiest since all they had to was place me in the machine for 15 minutes and get images of my brain . So, ladies and gentlemen, that is a PET scan.

My sister Lorena and her her bf Mark, came to visit me at around 4. They brought good vibes and food. It was pretty awesome considering that i hadn't eaten all day. They were one of highlights of my day :)

Right after they left I had some seizures. They were so weird, i've never seized like that before. I was INVOLUNTARILY hyperventilating, and crying. Then my legs started shaking. It was really really horrible. there were 3 nurses in the room with me. I'm feeling really weak right now. a little nauseous and i have a headache. *sigh* I guess I got what we were hoping for. …

Not really. I'm SUPER bummed right now:(. The doctor came in and said the seizure was unsuccessful :( :( :(. I seized, but they weren't able to tell what part of my brain it came from because i was clenching my jaw. Clenching my jaw shows too much muscle mass on the EEG and it makes the all of the readings dark so they can't see any of my brain waves thus making it impossible to map out what part of the brain is causing the seizures. This is bad because when I seize i normally clench my jaw…dang. I'm wondering how i'm going to restrain myself from doing that…hmm. So I"m feeling super tired and sleepy right now. I'm gonna take a nap.

I got a second wind. my bro, Jesse, is coming with his kids and really looking forward to seeing them :) I also received a call from my bestie, Carlos', mom. It meant so much that she thought of me and was so worried about me. I love Teresa. I love all of Carlos' family.

My brother and the kids showed up at around 6 or 7. They were so much fun. My niece is so animated she made the visit so entertaining. We all had a good time listening to music, making fun and laughing at each other. Towards the end of the visit I could feel myself starting to get sick. I warned my brother when he first got here. I didn't want the kids to see me get sick so i told him that if i asked him to leave he had to leave that instant. Like I said, i started to feel a seizure coming and told him to leave immediately. About a minute later I had a seizure. This one was worse than the one i had earlier. I couldn't stop shaking, or blinking, my lips were quivering and again I couldn't stop crying. I was thinking about what the doctor told me earlier so i was trying my best not to clench my jaw. This, in turn, gave me lock jaw. It also caused my tongue to swell and hurt. I couldn't talk. The nurses kept asking me questions like if i knew where i was, and the date. It was nearly impossible to talk so I had to use hand signals. The nurses told me that if i had 3 seizures they would call the doctor and they'd give me some sort of sedative.

Sure enough I had 3 and the nurses called the doctor. Doc came in and started asking me a bunch of questions. She gave me 3 words to remember but i could only remember 2: winter and cat. I had another seizure and she was reading the waves on the computer screen. She turned around and said, "hmmm i see you seizing, but it's not reading as a seizure on the computer". I was like, wtf?! She studied my brain waves some more, and was asking me a series of questions simultaneously. I couldn't talk again so I had to use hand signals to answer her. In the middle of all of this I had a strong urge to pee. My legs were like jello so i couldn't walk. She told me that she would get a bed pan. I was like, fuck that shit. (Have you ever peed in a bed pan??? I have, and it's fucken gross. I'd rather fall 3 times on the way to the bathroom than pee in a bed pan). So i held it until i felt a little bit of strength, and the nurse walked me to the bathroom…but this time she didn't close the door. She left it wide open to make sure i was okay and didn't start seizing. It was pretty embarrassing, but whatever, at least I didn't have to pee in a bed pan.

So, the doctor kept leaving the room and coming back. She looked at my eyes, asked me to raise my arms, asked me to do a series of other tests, and again she said that it wasn't reading as a seizure. The nurses suggested that maybe this was a simple partial seizure instead of a complex partial seizure(complex partial are the type of seizures I have). Nope. Instead the doctor came back and told me that what I was experiencing were auras. I was like, wtf, these are unlike any other aura i've ever had. Auras are premonitions or a warning sign that you're going to have a seizure. For epileptic patients the most common auras are deja vu, a surge of panic or fear, or nausea. For me, auras last anywhere from 1 to 45 seconds. The doctors told me that if I didn't have any seizures by the second day, one of the things they would do to induce seizures was wean me off of my medication. Today they dropped my med dosage by a lot. That really isn't weaning, since it was such a drastic drop in dosage. Usually the weaning process takes weeks or even months. In this case they need me to have seizures now, so I thought that it would take at least 3 days to wean me off, but no…they dropped my dosage in half that day. Perhaps that's why i had such strong auras. And perhaps that's why they lasted so long (about 10-20 minutes long) instead of my usual 1-45 seconds.

After all of this, i felt nauseous so i was given a pill to stop the nausea. Then, i got really really hungry. So weird for me. usually i'm nauseous for a long time after an aura. I told the nurse i was hungry so she brought me some saltine crackers and some orange sherbet. That totally helped. I went to bed at about 10-10:30. Every night the nurses come to check on you every hour to make sure your okay. One of the times, the nurse came in and woke me up. AFter that i wasn't tired anymore, so now it's 2:27 and I can't sleep. Grr. I'm going to try to get some sleep. Hopefully I'll be able to fall asleep quick status. G'nite everyone.